The importance of the individual is immeasurable. Thought it may seem that one's thoughts are a common matter and thought by many others, the importance of self expression remains. Though you know of your perspective and that some share it, not everyone may yet be privy to such ideas or theories. In creating an open exchange you enable interaction and bring about an opportunity or various perspectives to adapt and evolve information.
In short, a forum of thought helps the individuals involved grow. This holds true as long as an open mind is maintained. If we are not willing to accept new information even that which seems in full opposition to our own beliefs we miss out on a chance to hone and sharpen our own minds around our own theories.
So I ask that we all attempt to enable our own self expression and be open to what others have to impart as well. Never become defensive and always try to assume positive intent and we may all grow together.
I hope to get back into the trend of posting so bear with me and thank you all for your patients and interest :)
Friday, January 9, 2015
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Rambling
We are the material of habitual faltering.
Moving headlong into an abyss with no end in search of things that don't exist. Any bit of cognition we gain a grasp upon we hold momentarly before searching for more. Attempting to feed an appetite that knows not what it is to be satisfied. The beast that is man is the representative of the illogical.
The earth is but a tool of man for his molding and consumption. Do we stop to consider the purpose or meaning of the soil and land as it is or do we rush to form it into something that we deem to better suit ourselves. Within we are hollow and push that which resides around us into shapes to fit a hole that bears no shape itself. What foolish endeavors we toil.
Most appauling of all, the outlook and behavoir we exhibit towards those in our same circumstances. Molding and twisting, binding to each other and shredding away at what is already there. If ever our eyes were to be exchanged and see the fate befall ourselves, would we remorse? What Ego, What obsession, What Madness is man.
Chaos sealed into meat and bone.
Moving headlong into an abyss with no end in search of things that don't exist. Any bit of cognition we gain a grasp upon we hold momentarly before searching for more. Attempting to feed an appetite that knows not what it is to be satisfied. The beast that is man is the representative of the illogical.
The earth is but a tool of man for his molding and consumption. Do we stop to consider the purpose or meaning of the soil and land as it is or do we rush to form it into something that we deem to better suit ourselves. Within we are hollow and push that which resides around us into shapes to fit a hole that bears no shape itself. What foolish endeavors we toil.
Most appauling of all, the outlook and behavoir we exhibit towards those in our same circumstances. Molding and twisting, binding to each other and shredding away at what is already there. If ever our eyes were to be exchanged and see the fate befall ourselves, would we remorse? What Ego, What obsession, What Madness is man.
Chaos sealed into meat and bone.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Cannibal
Being a cannibal is a pecular thing.
You find yourself in a world of food constantly tempting and beckoning to you. You look around and see all these.. meals.. just running around and you can't help but wonder how they would taste and what side dishes and wine or liqour might compliment them best.
No one really thinks about it, but people are red meat. This usually means pairing with a red wine when enjoying the best cuts. When partaking of the ribs or barbecueing, one might watch the game and opt for a beer instead. It all depends on situation, preparation and setting.
I digress, back to what makes it so very strange. It is surprising to find that it is much more difficult to hunt down and kill a cow with your bare hands than it is a human. Cattle know to run, people are quite oblivious to such threats. Another perk to the palate.
There are draw backs to the appetite, it becomes difficult to maintain a social life when talking to food. How could something considered platable be good company and even if one were to consider it good company, how do you avoid thinking about consumption? How long could one talk to a tantalizing steak and truly enjoy the conversation?
It's an interesting life choice and unlike being a vegan or the like, it's not something you can just opt out of later. It changes you and you never see the world in the same light. Even just trying it, you never forget your first meal.
You find yourself in a world of food constantly tempting and beckoning to you. You look around and see all these.. meals.. just running around and you can't help but wonder how they would taste and what side dishes and wine or liqour might compliment them best.
No one really thinks about it, but people are red meat. This usually means pairing with a red wine when enjoying the best cuts. When partaking of the ribs or barbecueing, one might watch the game and opt for a beer instead. It all depends on situation, preparation and setting.
I digress, back to what makes it so very strange. It is surprising to find that it is much more difficult to hunt down and kill a cow with your bare hands than it is a human. Cattle know to run, people are quite oblivious to such threats. Another perk to the palate.
There are draw backs to the appetite, it becomes difficult to maintain a social life when talking to food. How could something considered platable be good company and even if one were to consider it good company, how do you avoid thinking about consumption? How long could one talk to a tantalizing steak and truly enjoy the conversation?
It's an interesting life choice and unlike being a vegan or the like, it's not something you can just opt out of later. It changes you and you never see the world in the same light. Even just trying it, you never forget your first meal.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Sleep watcher
I found my self standing and staring down at her sleeping form.
I did not know how long I had been standing there nor when I had gotten out of bed. She was a deep sleeper so it could have been any given amount of time really. It was now 5 in the morning so I shrugged it away.
The next day while I was down stairs putting together lunch, I heard her scream and ran upstairs to see what was wrong. She seemed nervous but said she assured me it had been a rodent that startled her so I let her know I would make sure the problem was taken care of. She didn't seem very relieved as she left the room. I noticed a picture hanging part way out of a folder by where she had been standing.
There were tons of photos with time stamps of me standing at the bed side staring at her with a blank expression with timestamps that encompassed hours starting at two in the morning. Terrified I ran down stairs and told her to pack her things and that we were leaving. She didn't want to go with me, she didn't know that there was something other than a sleep watcher to worry about.
To this day she sleeps in a seperate room with the door locked. Yesterday I think I heard multiple snapping sounds coming from her room while I was up late... I'm almost releaved that I am not the focal point. I know I should probably be protective, but she is very thurough before she locks up for the night, so whatever is going on is not something any normal being knows.
I found a folder of photos today and I fear what they imply. They are of me, standing in her room from 2pm to 5pm, loading a shotgun.
I left her today for her own good, though I'm sure if anything happens to her they will find a folder full of pictures and I will without a doubt be found to blame.
I did not know how long I had been standing there nor when I had gotten out of bed. She was a deep sleeper so it could have been any given amount of time really. It was now 5 in the morning so I shrugged it away.
The next day while I was down stairs putting together lunch, I heard her scream and ran upstairs to see what was wrong. She seemed nervous but said she assured me it had been a rodent that startled her so I let her know I would make sure the problem was taken care of. She didn't seem very relieved as she left the room. I noticed a picture hanging part way out of a folder by where she had been standing.
There were tons of photos with time stamps of me standing at the bed side staring at her with a blank expression with timestamps that encompassed hours starting at two in the morning. Terrified I ran down stairs and told her to pack her things and that we were leaving. She didn't want to go with me, she didn't know that there was something other than a sleep watcher to worry about.
To this day she sleeps in a seperate room with the door locked. Yesterday I think I heard multiple snapping sounds coming from her room while I was up late... I'm almost releaved that I am not the focal point. I know I should probably be protective, but she is very thurough before she locks up for the night, so whatever is going on is not something any normal being knows.
I found a folder of photos today and I fear what they imply. They are of me, standing in her room from 2pm to 5pm, loading a shotgun.
I left her today for her own good, though I'm sure if anything happens to her they will find a folder full of pictures and I will without a doubt be found to blame.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Recluse
Old tendencies are pulling at my logic. I am feeling the need to become more reclusive, to hide myself away and cut off contact with everything.
The funny thing is that this urge is brought on by the frustration of feeling a lack of connectivity with others. As if in insulted defense I push everything away as an excuse to why I feel so secluded even with others around. I know it is unhealthy to hold up inside my own head yet I can't help but have the desire none-the-less.
To correct my behavior I have acknowledge how I feel and that it is not a positive pattern of behavoir that I wish to support. The hard part is choosing a path less traveled instead of going down the well traveled path of my usual habit. This is often why people don't often seem to do anything with the advice of others. A friend of mine has made me aware of my lack of results which creates a need to actually listen to someone for once and actually show some results.
The funny thing is that this urge is brought on by the frustration of feeling a lack of connectivity with others. As if in insulted defense I push everything away as an excuse to why I feel so secluded even with others around. I know it is unhealthy to hold up inside my own head yet I can't help but have the desire none-the-less.
To correct my behavior I have acknowledge how I feel and that it is not a positive pattern of behavoir that I wish to support. The hard part is choosing a path less traveled instead of going down the well traveled path of my usual habit. This is often why people don't often seem to do anything with the advice of others. A friend of mine has made me aware of my lack of results which creates a need to actually listen to someone for once and actually show some results.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Torment
I grit my teeth as the walls shifted around me. My blood boiled and my fury overflowed. It felt as if the world were shaking as I let out roar from deep within.
I rushed out of the room bashing the door open with my fists on the way out. It splintered and my skin broke; blood dripped from them as I ran to the living room clawing the walls and tossing everything about needlessly. It did nothing to sooth the inferno raging inside me, I needed to destroy something more than mere items. I needed to hurt something; hurt something so bad that there would be no coming back from the damage inflicted. To destory something to it's very core; to make it feel my ire in full.
Then there was a knock at the door.
I imagine this is how those infected in 28days later might think if they were to think at all. Any human emotion left unchecked would truly be something to fear. It might be even worse if such thoughts were to occur while one was in the grip of unrelenting glee. To gain happiness from the pain is something I find disturbing.
I rushed out of the room bashing the door open with my fists on the way out. It splintered and my skin broke; blood dripped from them as I ran to the living room clawing the walls and tossing everything about needlessly. It did nothing to sooth the inferno raging inside me, I needed to destroy something more than mere items. I needed to hurt something; hurt something so bad that there would be no coming back from the damage inflicted. To destory something to it's very core; to make it feel my ire in full.
Then there was a knock at the door.
I imagine this is how those infected in 28days later might think if they were to think at all. Any human emotion left unchecked would truly be something to fear. It might be even worse if such thoughts were to occur while one was in the grip of unrelenting glee. To gain happiness from the pain is something I find disturbing.
Monday, August 4, 2014
The next ritual?
I hope you are all well, I am looking to perform another one of Saya's rituals and am up for suggestion. Keep in mind that a video can only be provided for a ritual that is heavily visual based. Once i get an acceptable suggest I will set a date and general time if there is not a definate time requirement.
The higher risk of the ritual the longer it will take me to be able to perform it as I refuse to use my own home in which my children sleep for the purpose of performing such things.
I will most likely not perform rituals that require self mutilation or inflict harm upon others as I have little interest in being malicious. Other than that, let me have it.
The higher risk of the ritual the longer it will take me to be able to perform it as I refuse to use my own home in which my children sleep for the purpose of performing such things.
I will most likely not perform rituals that require self mutilation or inflict harm upon others as I have little interest in being malicious. Other than that, let me have it.
Body, Mind and Soul
A man walked down a street having a conversation with his two others.
1. "Why must we walk so far this is very tiring?!"
2. "We have places to be, you'll get your rest in due time"
3. "One paths leads to another, we must stay strong for the paths ahead"
1. "I am so hungry though, I must have food and drink, meat and potatoes with gravy..."
2. "We can eat once we have our tomes in hand, there is much to research and only so much light."
3. "There will always be time for if nothing else; we have time."
1. "What of a woman then I must have one by nights end."
2. "Should we really spend our time seeking to defile ourselves when there is so much knowledge to gain."
3. "Connecting with others can bring about surprising realizations and growth."
1. "You neglect me so well I have reached my end, the suffering is too much!"
2. "Foolish lump do not give out now, so much is at hand and within our grasp!"
3. "Perhaps in the next world we will better manage ourselves and be more fullfilled..."
The man fell to the ground and never got up again. To view the world from one perspective is to neglect others, within each of us is a variety of necessities that lead us to a satisfying end. Neglect not one for the other and manage ones existance to the fullest.
1. "Why must we walk so far this is very tiring?!"
2. "We have places to be, you'll get your rest in due time"
3. "One paths leads to another, we must stay strong for the paths ahead"
1. "I am so hungry though, I must have food and drink, meat and potatoes with gravy..."
2. "We can eat once we have our tomes in hand, there is much to research and only so much light."
3. "There will always be time for if nothing else; we have time."
1. "What of a woman then I must have one by nights end."
2. "Should we really spend our time seeking to defile ourselves when there is so much knowledge to gain."
3. "Connecting with others can bring about surprising realizations and growth."
1. "You neglect me so well I have reached my end, the suffering is too much!"
2. "Foolish lump do not give out now, so much is at hand and within our grasp!"
3. "Perhaps in the next world we will better manage ourselves and be more fullfilled..."
The man fell to the ground and never got up again. To view the world from one perspective is to neglect others, within each of us is a variety of necessities that lead us to a satisfying end. Neglect not one for the other and manage ones existance to the fullest.
Craftian
The dead do not weep for the living as the living weep for the dead.
I found my self in a strange land, awoken from slumber by the rising sun. It was a lush, green place riddled with trees and mountanous hills in the distance. It seemed like a pleasant enough place though I could not truly discern a purpose in it. I could hear water trickling nearby and moved to investigate. The sources was a clear blue stream spawning from a mountain and leading into a body of water that stretched on into the distance as far as I could see. The water was cool and gentle aside from the ripples created upon my intrusion.
I was quite surprised at how quickly the sun had crossed the land as it began to settle back into the earth. I turned away from it to see the moon rising in it's place and the stars looking down upon the land. I was new to this lands and knew not what to expect form day nor night. When I began to hear the low groaning from the darkened woods my curiousity turned to fright. A purpose now solidified within my being; Survival. I was not yet sure what was out there, but I was certain it was not in my best interest to find out.
I took flight in the direction opposite of which the noise had emanated. To my dismay a groans began to arrive from each direction that I took flight, till one of the things that created the sound was close enough to be visually defined. My God, it was as much monster as it had been man! What once had been living particle was not a rotting symphony of mechination from which no living thing might utilize for normal motion. Ichor dripped from it's maw and it gnashed as it's greyed orbs drank in my existance. I lost all composure and fled into the woods clawing at trees till I found myself hunkered down in between limbs.
I did not sleep for the rest of the night and hung on edge as one became many. The wave of ambling rotten vessels and a wafting of carrion odor cause me to lose my lunch and nearly my grip upon my natural safe haven. My strength had nearly given out as the sun began to rise and the corps of flesh moaned in horror as the rising light set them a flame. I nearly burned alive once the tree caught fire and had to dive off into a nearby tuft of grass and soil.
I laid there for a moment before my minds gears took hold once more and I rolled onto my feet. If I did not make good use of the day, I would surely be taken with the night. Those numerous unfortunate successors show this lesson upon their vessels and I knew I could no longer pity them for they held no mercy for me.
I found my self in a strange land, awoken from slumber by the rising sun. It was a lush, green place riddled with trees and mountanous hills in the distance. It seemed like a pleasant enough place though I could not truly discern a purpose in it. I could hear water trickling nearby and moved to investigate. The sources was a clear blue stream spawning from a mountain and leading into a body of water that stretched on into the distance as far as I could see. The water was cool and gentle aside from the ripples created upon my intrusion.
I was quite surprised at how quickly the sun had crossed the land as it began to settle back into the earth. I turned away from it to see the moon rising in it's place and the stars looking down upon the land. I was new to this lands and knew not what to expect form day nor night. When I began to hear the low groaning from the darkened woods my curiousity turned to fright. A purpose now solidified within my being; Survival. I was not yet sure what was out there, but I was certain it was not in my best interest to find out.
I took flight in the direction opposite of which the noise had emanated. To my dismay a groans began to arrive from each direction that I took flight, till one of the things that created the sound was close enough to be visually defined. My God, it was as much monster as it had been man! What once had been living particle was not a rotting symphony of mechination from which no living thing might utilize for normal motion. Ichor dripped from it's maw and it gnashed as it's greyed orbs drank in my existance. I lost all composure and fled into the woods clawing at trees till I found myself hunkered down in between limbs.
I did not sleep for the rest of the night and hung on edge as one became many. The wave of ambling rotten vessels and a wafting of carrion odor cause me to lose my lunch and nearly my grip upon my natural safe haven. My strength had nearly given out as the sun began to rise and the corps of flesh moaned in horror as the rising light set them a flame. I nearly burned alive once the tree caught fire and had to dive off into a nearby tuft of grass and soil.
I laid there for a moment before my minds gears took hold once more and I rolled onto my feet. If I did not make good use of the day, I would surely be taken with the night. Those numerous unfortunate successors show this lesson upon their vessels and I knew I could no longer pity them for they held no mercy for me.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Zest
We have become a society that fears.
We have been told to fear our neighbors, told to fear nature, told to fear our transportation, told to fear the water we drink and the air that we breath, told to fear the light and told to fear the dark. Fear, what is fear? It is not unreasonable to get scared at times, but to be afraid all the time or to hold fear of something in your heart is a heavy burden.
I submit that we should all except the fact that things happen, people get hurt and die everyday every moment. If it is going to happen it will happen and fearing it will not stop it, as often we see in a horror film. Only by accepting our neighbors, nature, transportation, water, air, light, dark, etc. can we truly ever have said we lived. If I were to jump out of a plane tommorrow (to sky dive) and my parashoot does not deploy at least as I hit the ground I will know I have had lived.
Why should anyone sit around in their own head hidden away fromt he world existing in fear when living is such a simple thing. We just have to get up, go outside and go where our spirit carries us. We cannot stop the count down by hiding away from it, so why not enjoy the time we have.
So put fear aside and go out and live. The worst that can happen is you have a good time before the end.
We have been told to fear our neighbors, told to fear nature, told to fear our transportation, told to fear the water we drink and the air that we breath, told to fear the light and told to fear the dark. Fear, what is fear? It is not unreasonable to get scared at times, but to be afraid all the time or to hold fear of something in your heart is a heavy burden.
I submit that we should all except the fact that things happen, people get hurt and die everyday every moment. If it is going to happen it will happen and fearing it will not stop it, as often we see in a horror film. Only by accepting our neighbors, nature, transportation, water, air, light, dark, etc. can we truly ever have said we lived. If I were to jump out of a plane tommorrow (to sky dive) and my parashoot does not deploy at least as I hit the ground I will know I have had lived.
Why should anyone sit around in their own head hidden away fromt he world existing in fear when living is such a simple thing. We just have to get up, go outside and go where our spirit carries us. We cannot stop the count down by hiding away from it, so why not enjoy the time we have.
So put fear aside and go out and live. The worst that can happen is you have a good time before the end.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Still kicking
I am still alive and existing.
I have now become the forefront of information for my peers and am eagerly utilized with little down time at work. When I leave the office I go directly to my boys and fathering till they are at rest and any time outside of that I am spending working out our new home.
I will try to return and continue on as I had before once my schedule eases up. I look forward to attempting more rituals and writing more in perhaps a months time.
Even if I were to suffer some unfortunate incident I imagine my spirit would be restless as I have little time for eternal slumber haha.
I have now become the forefront of information for my peers and am eagerly utilized with little down time at work. When I leave the office I go directly to my boys and fathering till they are at rest and any time outside of that I am spending working out our new home.
I will try to return and continue on as I had before once my schedule eases up. I look forward to attempting more rituals and writing more in perhaps a months time.
Even if I were to suffer some unfortunate incident I imagine my spirit would be restless as I have little time for eternal slumber haha.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Complexity
The human being is complex, so much so that they cannot comprehend themselves much less others. To attempt to define one's self or another person is to limit them, placing them in a box and putting a label upon it. We should not seek to limit ourselves.
We can interpret what we can sense and past that we can only assume; assumption is a hazardous method. Would it not be simpler to live transparently? When a person is sad, they should be sad, when they are happy they should show it. Posturing and acting is what will have us all undone.
In the event that a person would find themselves in opposition in what they believe they should accept themselves rather than admonish. In the core of a person is their true path, interest and desires and to deny these is to live in turmoil. We as a people should accept that there is negativity along side positivity. Acceptance of ones self will aid in forward progress towards accepting one's right to be.
Permit yourself to feel and accept that you are what you are and that is ok. Do not over indulge however or give into delusions to hide parts of your true being.
We can interpret what we can sense and past that we can only assume; assumption is a hazardous method. Would it not be simpler to live transparently? When a person is sad, they should be sad, when they are happy they should show it. Posturing and acting is what will have us all undone.
In the event that a person would find themselves in opposition in what they believe they should accept themselves rather than admonish. In the core of a person is their true path, interest and desires and to deny these is to live in turmoil. We as a people should accept that there is negativity along side positivity. Acceptance of ones self will aid in forward progress towards accepting one's right to be.
Permit yourself to feel and accept that you are what you are and that is ok. Do not over indulge however or give into delusions to hide parts of your true being.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
It
It smiled, it made it appear that it smiled.
It felt nothing, It had no desire to feel.
It moved and talked and blended.
It was there, but only as a silent observer within itself.
It waited to not be.
It kept moving down a path, without aim.
It was bound by those around it to being.
It had a buffer to seperate it from others.
It slept without interest to wake.
It woke and automated till the next slumber.
It bore the weight of itself constantly.
It fell then got up and moved forward.
It stared with hollow eyes at the world.
It touched with deadened hands.
It heard with deaf ears.
It tasted in greys.
It was called man and bore the burden of being.
It felt nothing, It had no desire to feel.
It moved and talked and blended.
It was there, but only as a silent observer within itself.
It waited to not be.
It kept moving down a path, without aim.
It was bound by those around it to being.
It had a buffer to seperate it from others.
It slept without interest to wake.
It woke and automated till the next slumber.
It bore the weight of itself constantly.
It fell then got up and moved forward.
It stared with hollow eyes at the world.
It touched with deadened hands.
It heard with deaf ears.
It tasted in greys.
It was called man and bore the burden of being.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Self Destruction
At times we all have thoughts of our own demise.
Just this morning I had thought "What if I open the car door and tumble out into the freeway, I could turn in opposition to obtain maximum damage." I find this to occur mostly without cause or being triggered by something. I wasn't depressed and I have no interest in commiting suicide. I am certain that we all have moments such as this though, we just decide to ignore these thoughts.
I even took the time to justify why I was not going to do such a thing. "Well the car may cause others to have an accident and my body most certainly would, There would be terrible traffic due to it. That'd be very selfish of me." Maybe it's being tired or boredom.
Do we naturally yearn for our own demise? I find that hard to believe due to being creatures with a survival instinct. Maybe there is a voice in our ears leading us to these thoughts. Perhaps I'm just sick and no one else thinks like this. I have no idea but I feel more accomplished than I figure someone normally would for merely being in existance.
I hope this does not cause conscern, we are strongly bound to this world through those around us and such a link is not easily broken. Worry not.
Just this morning I had thought "What if I open the car door and tumble out into the freeway, I could turn in opposition to obtain maximum damage." I find this to occur mostly without cause or being triggered by something. I wasn't depressed and I have no interest in commiting suicide. I am certain that we all have moments such as this though, we just decide to ignore these thoughts.
I even took the time to justify why I was not going to do such a thing. "Well the car may cause others to have an accident and my body most certainly would, There would be terrible traffic due to it. That'd be very selfish of me." Maybe it's being tired or boredom.
Do we naturally yearn for our own demise? I find that hard to believe due to being creatures with a survival instinct. Maybe there is a voice in our ears leading us to these thoughts. Perhaps I'm just sick and no one else thinks like this. I have no idea but I feel more accomplished than I figure someone normally would for merely being in existance.
I hope this does not cause conscern, we are strongly bound to this world through those around us and such a link is not easily broken. Worry not.
Monday, June 30, 2014
A touch of the divine
There is a place that exists within us all where everything divine sings in a tranquil chorus.
This place is created from all the instances in ones life where tears fell from awe struck eyes, where one's breath held still, as time it self seemed to. Where the ego melted away leaving the mind fully at peace. The heart holds steadfast in this place, for the mind of each being is deeply moved when presiding within. This place changes with time and expands to infinity. It could house a sea of flowers with petals drifting lightly on a gentle and whimsical breeze with massive, pearlescent architecture, marble floors and only the open blue sky for a ceiling. All forms of creature in their most enrapturing instances residing therein.
This place is beyond any means of defilement, it is without time and without worry. No matter what is happening outside of ourselves this place within each of us will always harbor us and give us sanctuary. It absolves us, purifies us, give us hope and saves us from ourselves.
On such a dreary day as today felt to be, I visited the door of this solemn place and my heavy heart became immediately lighter, the weight on my shoulders was lifted and I felt love for the world once more. I decided to write the following short story intro with this in mind.
War had torn through the lands continuously for longer than anyone could remember. The world as most knew it was tattered and torn. Cities laid in piles of rubble and structures stood open to the environment. All complex mechanism had fallen in disrepair and were now viewed as wondrous relics.
A boy sat on part of an unbroken fence of an unkept path that led nowhere in particular. His father had left for war long before his birth and never returned. His mother had died of the terminal sickness known to the people as "Vice" that had come into existence within the recent years and claims many each year. The boy had watched as his mother deteriorated and fell to a sleep from which they never again awoke.
Now alone with nothing but his thoughts he knew his only chance of survival was to enlist in a mercenary band. He had nothing more than survival to strive for and had only the experience of a toy sword which he had to pretended himself as great knight and defender. This would have to do for now.
As a gentle breeze past, something caught his eye and he turned slowly towards it. It was a doe almost devoid of any of the brown markings, leaving only white fur. It stood in elegance observing the boy with a steady stare. It slowly turned towards the woods and then looked back at the boy expectantly. The boy who had sat in awe, now retook and lowered himself from the fence, following in the direction of the doe.
The forest was unusually dense and he almost lost sight of the doe once or twice. Thanks to tone of it's fur, it stood out even in the thickest of thicket. As he climbed over a particularly large branch he fell and landed softly in lush grass. Before him glowed pearlescent ruins foreign to anything he had prior knowledge of. How it remained untouched was beyond him and he felt his breath catch as tears welled up in his eyes.
This was without a doubt where everything good and wholesome resided and not a speck of sin could invade that. Here he saw the doe's true form and the gathering tears came gushing out as he ran to her.
He opened his eyes to find himself back upon the fence next to the path. For a moment he had considered the vision for an illusion, but knew better as the feelings he had experienced were true. He knew he must find that place and that would be the purpose in which to strive. He leapt from the fence refreshed and feeling light as a feather, running down the path with hope giving wind to his wings.
-inspired by a Saya Composition-
http://worldlydelights.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-temple-inside-of-you.html
This place is created from all the instances in ones life where tears fell from awe struck eyes, where one's breath held still, as time it self seemed to. Where the ego melted away leaving the mind fully at peace. The heart holds steadfast in this place, for the mind of each being is deeply moved when presiding within. This place changes with time and expands to infinity. It could house a sea of flowers with petals drifting lightly on a gentle and whimsical breeze with massive, pearlescent architecture, marble floors and only the open blue sky for a ceiling. All forms of creature in their most enrapturing instances residing therein.
This place is beyond any means of defilement, it is without time and without worry. No matter what is happening outside of ourselves this place within each of us will always harbor us and give us sanctuary. It absolves us, purifies us, give us hope and saves us from ourselves.
On such a dreary day as today felt to be, I visited the door of this solemn place and my heavy heart became immediately lighter, the weight on my shoulders was lifted and I felt love for the world once more. I decided to write the following short story intro with this in mind.
War had torn through the lands continuously for longer than anyone could remember. The world as most knew it was tattered and torn. Cities laid in piles of rubble and structures stood open to the environment. All complex mechanism had fallen in disrepair and were now viewed as wondrous relics.
A boy sat on part of an unbroken fence of an unkept path that led nowhere in particular. His father had left for war long before his birth and never returned. His mother had died of the terminal sickness known to the people as "Vice" that had come into existence within the recent years and claims many each year. The boy had watched as his mother deteriorated and fell to a sleep from which they never again awoke.
Now alone with nothing but his thoughts he knew his only chance of survival was to enlist in a mercenary band. He had nothing more than survival to strive for and had only the experience of a toy sword which he had to pretended himself as great knight and defender. This would have to do for now.
As a gentle breeze past, something caught his eye and he turned slowly towards it. It was a doe almost devoid of any of the brown markings, leaving only white fur. It stood in elegance observing the boy with a steady stare. It slowly turned towards the woods and then looked back at the boy expectantly. The boy who had sat in awe, now retook and lowered himself from the fence, following in the direction of the doe.
The forest was unusually dense and he almost lost sight of the doe once or twice. Thanks to tone of it's fur, it stood out even in the thickest of thicket. As he climbed over a particularly large branch he fell and landed softly in lush grass. Before him glowed pearlescent ruins foreign to anything he had prior knowledge of. How it remained untouched was beyond him and he felt his breath catch as tears welled up in his eyes.
This was without a doubt where everything good and wholesome resided and not a speck of sin could invade that. Here he saw the doe's true form and the gathering tears came gushing out as he ran to her.
He opened his eyes to find himself back upon the fence next to the path. For a moment he had considered the vision for an illusion, but knew better as the feelings he had experienced were true. He knew he must find that place and that would be the purpose in which to strive. He leapt from the fence refreshed and feeling light as a feather, running down the path with hope giving wind to his wings.
-inspired by a Saya Composition-
http://worldlydelights.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-temple-inside-of-you.html
Friday, June 27, 2014
Conversion
Depression is a plague that everyone faces at one point or another.
Sometimes their is a mental or emotional reason. Perhaps we feel our existance holds no meaning or purpose. Other times it is chemical; an imbalance in the body that leaves us feeling off, melancholy or morose with out any outside influence. The former is tough to deal with and can be given fuel by the latter.
If I am aware that I am having a chemical imbalance and this is leading me to feeling depression it also can lead to self inflicted negative mental and emotional stimulous. The thought of pointlessness and insulting ones self for a feeling that is not intentionally indulged in.
Perhaps a good method of turning this around would be rebalancing ourselves chemically. Make the food of the day nutritional, cover all the bases, Get out and get sun, and Exercise and get the body moving. Direct your negative thoughts in a positive direction, they are unavoidable so rather than fight them we can convert them to something else, eventually leading to a positive result.
Rather than thinking "What is the point of going outside and working out, no one cares anyway." try thinking "Why should I bother indulging myself in relaxing, I might as well be working out."
even though the working out is now considered negative, it is still a positive behavoir that can lead to rebalancing and regaining energy. The problem with is obvious however. What if we eventually convince ourselves that the positive behavoir is bad even when we are not depressed.
Everything hinges on having a strong set of beliefs that will always ring true in the back of our minds. If you think things over, the next day you will be able to return to your true beliefs. We mustnly make excuses. We should accept who we are and what we do and never question our true beliefs even if we compromise them or go against them from time to time. Denial can defile a persons path and keep us from being true to ourselves. Everyone is human, everyone has unclean thoughts and do to some extent unclean things. No one is spotless, so why hold it against yourself.
So all this being said, I sit at my computer with that creeping gloom. I recognized it, I accept it and I know that it is something I want to convert to a more positive state. I believe I need a good rest and perhaps a good helping of unprocessed fruits and vegetables as well as a walk outside in the sun. If it doesn't work I will update this and debunk myself. I'm already feeling better by blogging about it though so here is hoping :)
Sometimes their is a mental or emotional reason. Perhaps we feel our existance holds no meaning or purpose. Other times it is chemical; an imbalance in the body that leaves us feeling off, melancholy or morose with out any outside influence. The former is tough to deal with and can be given fuel by the latter.
If I am aware that I am having a chemical imbalance and this is leading me to feeling depression it also can lead to self inflicted negative mental and emotional stimulous. The thought of pointlessness and insulting ones self for a feeling that is not intentionally indulged in.
Perhaps a good method of turning this around would be rebalancing ourselves chemically. Make the food of the day nutritional, cover all the bases, Get out and get sun, and Exercise and get the body moving. Direct your negative thoughts in a positive direction, they are unavoidable so rather than fight them we can convert them to something else, eventually leading to a positive result.
Rather than thinking "What is the point of going outside and working out, no one cares anyway." try thinking "Why should I bother indulging myself in relaxing, I might as well be working out."
even though the working out is now considered negative, it is still a positive behavoir that can lead to rebalancing and regaining energy. The problem with is obvious however. What if we eventually convince ourselves that the positive behavoir is bad even when we are not depressed.
Everything hinges on having a strong set of beliefs that will always ring true in the back of our minds. If you think things over, the next day you will be able to return to your true beliefs. We mustnly make excuses. We should accept who we are and what we do and never question our true beliefs even if we compromise them or go against them from time to time. Denial can defile a persons path and keep us from being true to ourselves. Everyone is human, everyone has unclean thoughts and do to some extent unclean things. No one is spotless, so why hold it against yourself.
So all this being said, I sit at my computer with that creeping gloom. I recognized it, I accept it and I know that it is something I want to convert to a more positive state. I believe I need a good rest and perhaps a good helping of unprocessed fruits and vegetables as well as a walk outside in the sun. If it doesn't work I will update this and debunk myself. I'm already feeling better by blogging about it though so here is hoping :)
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Intent
Recently I heard something profound at work. I did not expect it.
"Assume positive intent"
How often do we perceive others as enemies in our mind by viewing their presence or presentation as antagonistic. Imagine all the misunderstands that could be averted and how much brighter the world would be if we had an outlook that our fellow humans were striving towards a positive result just as we are.
Give it a try next time you speak with someone. They may just have a difficult time expressing themselves which could be viewed as negative input. Everyone wants to have a happy and fulfilling life after all.
"Assume positive intent"
How often do we perceive others as enemies in our mind by viewing their presence or presentation as antagonistic. Imagine all the misunderstands that could be averted and how much brighter the world would be if we had an outlook that our fellow humans were striving towards a positive result just as we are.
Give it a try next time you speak with someone. They may just have a difficult time expressing themselves which could be viewed as negative input. Everyone wants to have a happy and fulfilling life after all.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Crossed Line
Recently within the past two weeks I have been having issues with my phone.
It's not that the phone loses signal or drops calls, instead it seems to receive interference. I will be talking to a friend or family and there will be a quiet moment. This silence is followed by a new sort of feedback.
In the first instance, I was having a conversation with a loved one when in the middle of the back and forth there was silence despite my prompting. Before I could hang up I began to hear something. It sounded like digital feedback. This noise seemed to come in intervals and at first I thought it was an issue with phone not properly handling the incoming signal. As strange as it was it eventually cut out so I called my loved one back. They had not been speaking to me at the intervals in which the digital feedback was heard.
The most recent occurance was just the other day. I was speaking to a close friend when the line went silent. It was then replaced by a heavy breathing, seemingly through the aid of a breathing machine. I tried to elicit a responce to figure out what was going on but the breathing continued and my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. After thirty seconds of this something was mumbled from the breathing entity and then the call ended. I called my friend back and they told me it had ended on their side prior to when I began to hear the breathing.
I can only speculate what might be going on and if this continues happening I will continue to document it. Is someone or something listening in or trying to communicate or is the line just getting crossed?
It's not that the phone loses signal or drops calls, instead it seems to receive interference. I will be talking to a friend or family and there will be a quiet moment. This silence is followed by a new sort of feedback.
In the first instance, I was having a conversation with a loved one when in the middle of the back and forth there was silence despite my prompting. Before I could hang up I began to hear something. It sounded like digital feedback. This noise seemed to come in intervals and at first I thought it was an issue with phone not properly handling the incoming signal. As strange as it was it eventually cut out so I called my loved one back. They had not been speaking to me at the intervals in which the digital feedback was heard.
The most recent occurance was just the other day. I was speaking to a close friend when the line went silent. It was then replaced by a heavy breathing, seemingly through the aid of a breathing machine. I tried to elicit a responce to figure out what was going on but the breathing continued and my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. After thirty seconds of this something was mumbled from the breathing entity and then the call ended. I called my friend back and they told me it had ended on their side prior to when I began to hear the breathing.
I can only speculate what might be going on and if this continues happening I will continue to document it. Is someone or something listening in or trying to communicate or is the line just getting crossed?
Monday, June 23, 2014
Shell
Imagine if you well an entity that acts and reacts to stimulous. It moves with what would be viewed as purpose and direction yet at its core there is nothingness. It can smile, frown and depict all known emotions when such a response is elicited. When it looks at something, it can only relate what it is viewing in terms that are relative to it's self. It does not see those around it in their native context. It always acts in it's own interest as that is the minimum requirement of it's survival. It can procreate and raise young but never truly understands the purpose in anything it does.
It is merely a walking shell that stares back at me in the mirror every morning and I want nothing more than to wipe that smug grin off it's face.
It is merely a walking shell that stares back at me in the mirror every morning and I want nothing more than to wipe that smug grin off it's face.
Down pour
There is something to fear in the rain.
The curtain of clouds closed in upon the sun and a subtle darkness settled in. The usually bustling metropolis' veins ran thin as the people took to shelter. The few that remained were canned up in vehicles. Even vermin knew to take shelter from a salivating sky.
On this day, I found myself late and pressed to brave the maelstrom with umbrella in had, cursing the wind. The water licked at my heels with each step. With such a down pour the view became distorted and I found myself unable to tell what there was more than 2 feet in any direction of me. My senses were now null and void as all I could do was soldier on.
In a metropolis even in the worst of weather you will usually encouter at least one other unfortunate soul in this similar situation along the way any where you would go. Thus is the path of luck and lack there of. I had not seen a soul since I opened my apartment door into the street. I also came to the realization that I had not seen even a sign that others might have ever been where I now walked. No bikes chained, cars parked or structured stone walk. I new was padding down what I assumed to be a mildewed slab, upon my notice of which prompted my earlier observation.
I was immediately disturbed and began fearing for my own well being. I turned to walk towards what should have been a wall of shop fronts or apartments only to encounter nothing after 20 or so steps. Visibly distraught I darted in every which direction with similar results. My panic was now at a crescendo and I felt that my heart would soon either explode or give out entirely as I fell to my knees hyperventilating.
The rain seem to respond to my plight and fear with increased ferocity and a wave of knocked me onto all fours clutching for a hand hold. I coughed heavily as the last wave had caught me by surprise and I had taken in much of it. Before I could recover fully another wave tousled me to the side. I was utterly at the mercy of the storm and mercy it would not afford me. The waves intensified, churning me about as I gave in to oblivion and lost consciousness.
My alarm went of and I shot up in my bed. Outside the sky was dark and sprinkles of rain were starting to fall. I decided for safety I would call into work ill. Though I now knew it to be a dream, I could not shake the feeling that it was more than that. I later noticed that my umbrella had gone missing and to this day I stay in on rainy days.
The curtain of clouds closed in upon the sun and a subtle darkness settled in. The usually bustling metropolis' veins ran thin as the people took to shelter. The few that remained were canned up in vehicles. Even vermin knew to take shelter from a salivating sky.
On this day, I found myself late and pressed to brave the maelstrom with umbrella in had, cursing the wind. The water licked at my heels with each step. With such a down pour the view became distorted and I found myself unable to tell what there was more than 2 feet in any direction of me. My senses were now null and void as all I could do was soldier on.
In a metropolis even in the worst of weather you will usually encouter at least one other unfortunate soul in this similar situation along the way any where you would go. Thus is the path of luck and lack there of. I had not seen a soul since I opened my apartment door into the street. I also came to the realization that I had not seen even a sign that others might have ever been where I now walked. No bikes chained, cars parked or structured stone walk. I new was padding down what I assumed to be a mildewed slab, upon my notice of which prompted my earlier observation.
I was immediately disturbed and began fearing for my own well being. I turned to walk towards what should have been a wall of shop fronts or apartments only to encounter nothing after 20 or so steps. Visibly distraught I darted in every which direction with similar results. My panic was now at a crescendo and I felt that my heart would soon either explode or give out entirely as I fell to my knees hyperventilating.
The rain seem to respond to my plight and fear with increased ferocity and a wave of knocked me onto all fours clutching for a hand hold. I coughed heavily as the last wave had caught me by surprise and I had taken in much of it. Before I could recover fully another wave tousled me to the side. I was utterly at the mercy of the storm and mercy it would not afford me. The waves intensified, churning me about as I gave in to oblivion and lost consciousness.
My alarm went of and I shot up in my bed. Outside the sky was dark and sprinkles of rain were starting to fall. I decided for safety I would call into work ill. Though I now knew it to be a dream, I could not shake the feeling that it was more than that. I later noticed that my umbrella had gone missing and to this day I stay in on rainy days.
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