Thursday, March 20, 2014


I sleep but I do not dream.

I enjoy the reprieve. I use to despise it. Wasting time that could be spent active on oblivious rest. I now feel that I do not need to gain anything from sleep aside from the natural restoration it provides and avoiding it is hardly a preference.

I have dreamed before, some relating to the future which years or months later I live through. If I remember the dream I often change what was done in it. Perhaps the subconscious exists in a different manner than the active mind. I can suggest many theories to this, I might do so in a future post.

I've had nightmares, maybe 3. One as a child, I find it funny that I even feared what I had in the dream. Chased by Gremlins, the ones from the moving, those goody little things with bad habits.

I have had more serious nightmares, one in which I was at my parents home where I grew up. It was dark and I was the only one home. I was standing at the back of the living room and took notice of the recliner to my right. A large hand attached to a lanky arm extended out from beneath it. Once it had returned beneath, a large figure 9-10 feet tall stood straight up coming from the same space. It was highly improbable! The figure was of human shape and without feature, yet I could tell it was observing me. My breath hastened and I woke up with my breath in the same matter. I regret not having stayed to figure out what the creatures purpose was. It didn't truly seem to mean harm.

The last nightmare I adapted into a story in an earlier blog entry "Taboo", in which the figure is most certainly malicious.

The last form of dream I experience is one in which I am in constant conflict. I am on the run, while fighting back and being chased by a relentless enemy, often monstrous. I never feel that this is something to be afraid of and always wish to best it. I wake up with regret if the dream ends before I can do so, which is often the case. It seems the difference between nightmare and normal dreams can be control and feasibility.

Despite all this, most of my time asleep involves nothingness, I suppose since I accept the void, it accepts me as well.


  1. I read your story "Taboo" and it scared me and fascinated me at the same time.
    I don't know if the Black Angle in your story represented Death itself.
    The sound of stone scraping against stone - or perhaps the sound of the death knell - is never far away from us, even for the young boys and girl that appeared in your story.

    The Black Death, by the way, reminded me of Antonio Tabucchi's "The Black Angel," a book that is made up of a collection of short stories.
    Of these short stories, "The trout that waves between the rocks reminds me of your life" is my favourite. I don't have a copy of English translation of it, but if you're interested you can look for it!

    Your nightmare about the tall figure in the living room is disturbing. It must have been very frightening to have dreamt it!

    1. I am very happy to know that you enjoyed my story! I had been wanting to do some writing and finally took the opportunity.

      I agree, the statue in "Taboo" carried a presence like death in my dream. The sound of stone scraping stone is most certainly the sound of impending doom as it is something that will stay with the main character to his final days. After all, anything given life is also promised death.

      I am compiling a reading list with all the texts you have quoted and suggested. You always manage to give a good impression of them!

      My inability to comprehend the tall figure from my dream left me overwhelmed. Maybe there is something in my instincts that were alarmed. I wish I could have moved past my fear in order to understand the figure, I feel it wasa missed opportunity to strengthen my spirit against the unknown.

      Thank you for your support and for you response, I now feel like I could write more!

  2. I am curious, what do you dream about Saya?

    1. I don't remember my dreams much. Like you, I once wrote a short story based on a dream I had though.

      This morning I woke up from a nightmare but I've forgotten all about it. And I think it's best if we forget about dreams.

      I used to be interested in lucid dreams and I wanted to have it myself, but gave up trying after I read some horror stories about lucid dreams.

    2. I would love to read your short story sometime if you still have it around and dont mind sharing it. Dreams are a great inspiration.

      I hope your nightmare wasn't too scary, I can only imagine what might frighten you since you have your own underworld and all. I agree that dwelling on dreams is not necessary, just as dwelling on anything keeps us from moving forward.

      I am curious about these frightening lucid dream stories, perhap I am too eager to push the limits of my bravery or I enjoy the thrill of fear a little much.