I feel the weight of doubt heavily upon myself. I am not sure if I was born with this feeling or it is something that was instilled within me. A fear of failure so great that I am afraid to try something new if there is something at stake.
I know in my mind that this fear is unreasonable. I am a capable individual and I can do most things adequately or better when I apply the proper effort, yet I still have no faith in myself till I have already succeeded. The only way I know to fight this is to go against the nagging fears and move forward.
If I remain still for too long I will become stagnant and I will never reach my goals if I do not keep moving.
The other side of this is that risk is exhilarating. The rush of danger is extremely exciting and enticing so much so that I would risk it all for the greatest thrills. I yearn for the possibility of great achievement with my life on the line and that is also not a very healthy thing.
When I hold back in one aspect I desire the direct opposite which is not to my benefit. I must seek balance if I wish to feel that my life is fulfilling. I should not hide away in a cave to save myself but I should also avoid jumping off ledges for thrills.
Do not throw away one part of yourself for another, accept everything that is you and find balance within.